Rantings of a stressed working mum

Hi there,

I'm sat here in what only I can describe as a bombsite. I have just dropped DD at school and have come back as quickly as possible to feed my caffeine habit. Normally I would be at work right now but my little darlings have exams this morning so I have a free morning YAY!

 So maybe I should back up a little here. This morning whilst having my 1st caffeine hit of the day and a cigarette (there's my 1st bad mum point right there) I had about 1000 things going through my head and I had no way of sorting them into some kind of understandable order. I was getting a headache and pretty sure a panic attack was on its way, but I didn't have time for that as I had a packed lunch to make and a child to remind we had to leave in 15 mins. (Again I know I should have made the lunchbox up last night ssshhhh).

So on the way home I was trying to figure out how I was going to figure out what to do. Then it hit me... write it down! Even better let others see it too! That way I could get some outside perspective and maybe others will read this and go "I'M NOT ALONE!"

And here I am. Sat here in my bombsite with an empty mug of coffee. This needs to be rectified.

Anyway I work as an LSA which is great because I get weekends and holidays off and it fits very well around my daughters school times. Yes I feel your glares, parents to have to work awkward shifts and struggle for childcare, but trust me I feel you, i'm getting to THAT bit. However due to the way it is I do not get paid for half terms or holidays and therefore I am looking for secondary work to rectify this. See the reason I can do my job is it is school times. We all know here in the UK its getting to THAT time... summer holidays. Now my daughter does stay with her father from Sunday evening until about 7.30am on a Wednesday morning in the holidays. (And yes I understand not everyone gets that help either. I'm sorry I just got lucky i guess?) See where i'm getting at? So now I need to not only find a secondary job but one I can do as many hours as I can do in 2 days!

Oh and i'm not a single mother, I do have an OH but he works pretty much everyday so I cant really use him as childcare.

But you have an OH? why do you need to work so much? If he's working all the time why do you need to? You may ask. Well the thing is we both pay towards the house, bills, rent food etc but I am not prepared, nor do I think it is fair to expect him to pay for MY personal bills, like my phone or my Littlewoods. Nor do I expect him to pay for my new PC (that's a long way off) or DD's birthday presents.

Back to the dilemma, Work. How am I going to do this? I've been applying for jobs but due to my lack of availability people kind of don't want someone who can only work 2 days and 3 evenings a week. I have also been looking into the local holiday clubs so I can become more available but so far I have not had much luck. One of them was only available for the 1st 3 weeks of the summer holidays (because you know NO-ONE works the last 3 weeks of the summer holidays). and another one was £24 a day... I cant really afford that. I would need it for 3 days a week so that's £72 per week... would a 2nd job really be worth it at that point?

And that my readers is another point, one of my biggest pet peeves. If I, someone who does have a small support circle and 2 child free days is struggling to find work. How the heck are other single parents who do not have support circles supposed to find work to support their families? The thing is no matter how hard you try your first label will be PARENT. Which quite frankly annoys the heck out of me! Because if you do use all the childcare at your disposal, most of your blinking wages are going to go towards childcare costs and maybe even travel to and from, regardless if you drive or not. (Cars need fuel to go broom broom).

Anyway I digress, i'm sat here no closer to the solution to my current issues but I do feel a lot better for doing this. Ha what do you know I actually had a good idea! So if anyone has any ideas or just wants to join in and share feel free. I welcome you all with open arms and coffee breath!

Oh and Hi to my FB friends I DID NOT pressure into reading this at all.

Take care everyone, chat soon.

xxx

P.S join me on social media to keep updated between blogs :)

https://www.facebook.com/Rantings-of-a-stressed-working-mum-437596560015078/
https://twitter.com/DarkMooglette
https://www.instagram.com/darkmooglette/